The last few weeks of carrying our son were filled with equal parts blissful excitement and feeling largely uncomfortable. Not unlike that first missed date, his date came and went with no arrival. As the eighth day past began, Tyler and I headed to the hospital to help our son arrive. To say I was anxious would be a gross understatement. We were so excited and as ready as we could be for the son we had prayed over to enter our world and take his great-grandfather's name. The word induction hung over my head though, like a dark cloud, all that I had heard from others was about the length of the pain to be endured. My body was not prepared to part with its precious cargo and was stalling at a mere two centimeters and 80% effaced.
As Tyler and I filled out paperwork, I thought back over our journey to that point and how God had prepared us for that day. We both knew there were so many new things to come that were going to be out of our depth, but God was already there! God had been there when we found out we were having a child-he gave us courage and joy! God was there when I fell two different times while pregnant, and protected myself and our son. God was there strengthening our marriage for what he knew would be a trying time as Tyler and I both grew into our new roles as parents, and he was there on December third for the birth of our son,
We got settled into the room at the hospital and I spread out my not yet written thank-you notes from lovely baby showers, a book, and Tyler and I's supper. I smile in spite of myself for thinking I'd get all those things done while laboring. I was given Cervidil to soften my cervix at about 10 that night and was told to expect light cramping through the night, but that I should be able to sleep through it and then we'd get up at 5 am, shower and get ready to be induced. Tyler and I got comfortable and began to watch the season finale of The Walking Dead of all things, this also makes me smile! What a comforting and calming show to watch as you bring new life into the world, haha. I felt the first few waves of cramping and felt pretty good, but the pain quickly progressed passed being able to sleep and Tyler went to find a nurse. I went in to delivery with the resolve to try as long as I could without medication, but if I decided I couldn't do it that I would except it with no guilt or second thought. I honestly didn't feel I would make it long without an epidural because of the stories I had heard about being induced. As Tyler returned with the nurse and she removed the Cervidil, I felt a little embarrassed and more than a little defeated. I hadn't even made it through the "cramping" and now the induction might take even longer since I wasn't able to handle the Cervidil. The nurse told us to try and rest and that they'd try the Cervidil again in the morning. Rest did not come and the cramping got worse. I told Tyler that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was, and how was I going to get through labor if I couldn't even get through the softening of my cervix? He was my rock, and sat right there with me holding my hand and talking me through it. Tyler went to find a nurse about an hour later to tell them we thought I was contracting and they told him they were watching my monitor, but that I would definitely know when I was in labor and that there'd be no question. We tried to rest, but every few minutes the pain would return for me until finally there was no break. On this side of my first delivery it seems obvious that I was in labor, but I kept being assured that it was cramping and it would pass. Before I went into labor I told myself I could make it through the first few centimeters and I reminded myself of that in that moment. Tyler went one last time to go and see a nurse at about 1 am and I told him I thought I was ready for an epidural. As she checked to see how far along I was she sat back and said to me"You are 9 centimeters dilated. The midwife isn't here, she's on her way, but don't push". I felt so many things in the moment, but the words that came out were- I am ready for the epidural and how do I not push? I obviously was too far along for an epidural and Tyler gave me a pitying look. After that everything moved fairly quickly and by 2 am I was pushing. The room was dark and calm and it was just Tyler and I and the midwife and a wonderful nurse. The nurses and doctors really were great, but I just don't think my contractions were showing correctly on the monitor. It is amazing how God designed our bodies to do this task. I don't remember having to think about anything I was doing, my body just knew. Tyler wiped my forehead and face as I worked to bring our son to us and the two God-sent ladies gave me encouragement and helped me to find the right position for me. At 3 am on the nose, Kemp David Thompson entered the world and I witnessed my husband cry his first happy tears. As our son was laid in my arms I marveled at weight of him. The utter relief and rush of adrenaline I felt as Kemp was born was amazing. The pain ceased and my fatigue was gone, at least for the next few hours. The adventure had begun!
There were many wonderful days and months ahead and I look back on them with such thankfulness to my God! I sit here today writing this with my heart running around loose out there. It is no longer within me but within a tiny boy with bedhead at his first day of daycare. I didn't realize my heart would leave me, that I would forever be vulnerable when I became a parent. I didn't know the fear that would seize me when we left the hospital a day later. Only God has enabled me to part with that fear. So there it is, my beautiful birth story. I am so proud of it, not because of anything I have done, but because of the miracle that my son is and the beautiful thing that is delivery. I wouldn't change a thing.
As Tyler and I filled out paperwork, I thought back over our journey to that point and how God had prepared us for that day. We both knew there were so many new things to come that were going to be out of our depth, but God was already there! God had been there when we found out we were having a child-he gave us courage and joy! God was there when I fell two different times while pregnant, and protected myself and our son. God was there strengthening our marriage for what he knew would be a trying time as Tyler and I both grew into our new roles as parents, and he was there on December third for the birth of our son,
We got settled into the room at the hospital and I spread out my not yet written thank-you notes from lovely baby showers, a book, and Tyler and I's supper. I smile in spite of myself for thinking I'd get all those things done while laboring. I was given Cervidil to soften my cervix at about 10 that night and was told to expect light cramping through the night, but that I should be able to sleep through it and then we'd get up at 5 am, shower and get ready to be induced. Tyler and I got comfortable and began to watch the season finale of The Walking Dead of all things, this also makes me smile! What a comforting and calming show to watch as you bring new life into the world, haha. I felt the first few waves of cramping and felt pretty good, but the pain quickly progressed passed being able to sleep and Tyler went to find a nurse. I went in to delivery with the resolve to try as long as I could without medication, but if I decided I couldn't do it that I would except it with no guilt or second thought. I honestly didn't feel I would make it long without an epidural because of the stories I had heard about being induced. As Tyler returned with the nurse and she removed the Cervidil, I felt a little embarrassed and more than a little defeated. I hadn't even made it through the "cramping" and now the induction might take even longer since I wasn't able to handle the Cervidil. The nurse told us to try and rest and that they'd try the Cervidil again in the morning. Rest did not come and the cramping got worse. I told Tyler that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was, and how was I going to get through labor if I couldn't even get through the softening of my cervix? He was my rock, and sat right there with me holding my hand and talking me through it. Tyler went to find a nurse about an hour later to tell them we thought I was contracting and they told him they were watching my monitor, but that I would definitely know when I was in labor and that there'd be no question. We tried to rest, but every few minutes the pain would return for me until finally there was no break. On this side of my first delivery it seems obvious that I was in labor, but I kept being assured that it was cramping and it would pass. Before I went into labor I told myself I could make it through the first few centimeters and I reminded myself of that in that moment. Tyler went one last time to go and see a nurse at about 1 am and I told him I thought I was ready for an epidural. As she checked to see how far along I was she sat back and said to me"You are 9 centimeters dilated. The midwife isn't here, she's on her way, but don't push". I felt so many things in the moment, but the words that came out were- I am ready for the epidural and how do I not push? I obviously was too far along for an epidural and Tyler gave me a pitying look. After that everything moved fairly quickly and by 2 am I was pushing. The room was dark and calm and it was just Tyler and I and the midwife and a wonderful nurse. The nurses and doctors really were great, but I just don't think my contractions were showing correctly on the monitor. It is amazing how God designed our bodies to do this task. I don't remember having to think about anything I was doing, my body just knew. Tyler wiped my forehead and face as I worked to bring our son to us and the two God-sent ladies gave me encouragement and helped me to find the right position for me. At 3 am on the nose, Kemp David Thompson entered the world and I witnessed my husband cry his first happy tears. As our son was laid in my arms I marveled at weight of him. The utter relief and rush of adrenaline I felt as Kemp was born was amazing. The pain ceased and my fatigue was gone, at least for the next few hours. The adventure had begun!
There were many wonderful days and months ahead and I look back on them with such thankfulness to my God! I sit here today writing this with my heart running around loose out there. It is no longer within me but within a tiny boy with bedhead at his first day of daycare. I didn't realize my heart would leave me, that I would forever be vulnerable when I became a parent. I didn't know the fear that would seize me when we left the hospital a day later. Only God has enabled me to part with that fear. So there it is, my beautiful birth story. I am so proud of it, not because of anything I have done, but because of the miracle that my son is and the beautiful thing that is delivery. I wouldn't change a thing.
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